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Today is the big day; PetSmart day.

I get to go to town with mom, ride in her car and everything. She told me I was going to get a new toy if I was I good girl. Oh, I’ll be good, really good if it’s going to get me a new red ball that makes lots of noises. Gosh, I really like to go with mom on the Saturday.

Look, she has my harness. I really am going to get to go with her. I thought maybe she was fooling me, but she’s not. Here she comes, talking to me to calm me down. I get real excited sometimes. I jump around, run around in circles, jump up on the couch and then down again, and repeat the process until mom has be calmed me down enough to put on my harness.

It’s on. She told me to wait by the door until she comes back after me, and I will. I will be in the exact same position when she comes back as when she left. I am sitting on the arm of the love seat by the door–looking all pretty, of course. I hear the garage door opening, and mom coming back into the house. It’s almost time to go. Boy, am I ready!!

     I had to go to the vet today, what a drag. Mom told me I had to get some shots and some obscene liquid that Dr. Eitelman squirts up my nose. Mom didn’t tell me I had to get a complete physical though. Those are so embarrassing, especially with everybody looking at me. He told me I had to go on a diet and lose some of my gorgeous pounds. He poked and prodded and went to places no human had any business going. I’m not going back, I can tell you that for sure!

     The only upside to this day was riding in the car with mom, and then going to Pet Smart after the Ordeal I was put through. I picked out a red ball that bounces really high and makes a plethora of noises. I think all dogs–maybe some cats or whatnot–should have one. But only after and if they go through what I did!!!